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51-72 The Autocratic Parent
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If your child is younger than 15, he behaves — because he knows he must. But any child who behaves out of fear of punishment, or desire for a reward, does not develop the inner discipline that will serve him when his parent is not breathing down his neck. Children with autocratic parents often resent authority and often have an inability to express themselves. They may also become dependent on having someone else tell them what to do — a dangerous trait that leads children to follow the wrong crowd.
In children over 15, an autocratic parenting style tends to create rebellion. The methods that used to keep adolescents in line no longer work. In addition, an autocratic stance toward your child can erode your parent-child bond and block effective communication.
If this description doesn't match you, how about this: You aren't having much fun parenting. You find yourself yelling too much, hitting too much and feeling too much stress. You try to make your kids mind, but your efforts only succeed in making you angry.
Hang in there! You have some right ideas that need some refinement and control. Once you practice the skills presented in Kid Cooperation, you will find both your blood pressure and your voice going down. You and your kids will enjoy each other more.
Now What?
Knowing your parenting style is good for positive growth. Once you know your strengths and weaknesses, you can make the changes required to become a more balanced parent. This takes patience, practice and persistence. Your time and effort will be well worth it when you see the positive effect these changes have on your family.
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View other parenting styles:
0-14 The Permissive Parent
15-36 The Democratic Parent
37-50 The Balanced Parent
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Related items:
I Caught Them Playing Doctor
Leaving for Work Without a Fuss
The Deciding Factor: Kids Make the Choice
Positive Thinking for Kids
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From Kid Cooperation: How to Stop Yelling, Nagging and
Pleading and Get Kids to Cooperate by Elizabeth Pantley;
New Harbinger Publications
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